Parry Hotter and the Secret Lives
by Zandranewen
Summary: Parry Hotter is good looking, athletic and extremely stupid. He'll be living Secret Lives in the Wogharts School of Fame and Favour.
1. Default Chapter

This crazy idea came to me and my cousin when we were thinking to write a fanfic by turns. I'm going to write the first chapter, she the second, and so on. So, this shall be the parody of Harry Potter: PARRY HOTTER AND THE SECRET LIVES  
  
Zandrah writes: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
Mr. and Mrs. Rudsley, who were living on the 4th Public Drive, were extremely peculiar and very proud of it. Mr. Rudsley, Nervon, was a modern poet and well-known around the world in the circles of poets and Mrs. Rudsley, Netupia, was a bohemian painter. Their house was kind of odd too, it was very old and high. There was only a few furniture and lots of paintings on the walls. They had a son, Duldey, who was very small, thin and shy. He was a young genius in maths and did always the accounting of the family.  
  
Parry Hotter was Rudsleys' adopted child and Duldey´s cousin. Netupia was his aunt. They loved Parry a lot, at least as much as they loved Duldey. Rudsleys had adopted him, when his parents had died in an accident. Parry had that time been only a year old and he didn´t remember anything about his mum and dad. Netupia had told him, that Mr. and Mrs. Hotter had been famous athletes. Parry's dad Mejas had been a well-succeed shotputter and mum Lyli had been a runner.  
  
Now Parry was 16-years-old and very different from quiet and timid Duldey, who admired Parry a lot. Parry was tall and muscular and very handsome. He had blond hair and blue eyes. Parry was also very dumb and bullied Duldey all the time. Parry was, like his parents, really athletic. He had played american football for years. Parry had an own room in Rudsleys' house. He had all the stuff a teenager would like to have: television, videos, stereo and playstation. Rudsleys really indulged him, more than they did to their own son.  
  
It was a hot day of late summer in august. Parry woke up in his spacious room and looked the clock. "It´s only 2pm. Well, maybe I could wake up then," he thought. He looked himself in the mirror. "It's a brand new day, baby. Oh, you look sooo good, like always," Parry said to his reflex in the mirror and winked at it. Parry really looked good. He was a real heartbreaker. Almost every girl in his school had fallen in love with him. But that whom Parry loved was only Parry himself. What else could you expect from a boy who's IQ was lower than that one of a boot?  
  
Parry walked downstairs to the kitchen where Netupia was making lunch. "Good morning, Parry. How did you sleep?" she asked.  
  
Parry snarled something and sat in front of the table. "Gosh, I´m so hungry I could eat a horse! What do we have for lunch?"  
  
Duldey, who was making his homework of quantum physics licked his lips and said: "Mmm, I think mum is making sliced potatoes and fried shoots." Rudsleys didn´t eat meat, except fish somedays - they were vegetarian. Duldey-poor had never had a chance to taste meat, because Netupia and Nervon believed that meat would be bad to his genius' brain. Parry however wasn´t a vegetarian. Actually he never ate vegetables. He thought that they were only for rabbits.  
  
"Yuck, do we have anything else?" Parry asked and stole Duldey´s notebook of maths. "Don´t you know it´s a bad habit to read something in front of dinner table?"  
  
"Parry, please, give it back. Those should be ready by tomorrow," Duldey said trying to get the notebook from Parry. Parry threw it onto the floor. Duldey lifted it up and Parry-meanie kicked Duldey to his bottom.  
  
"Oops, I didn´t see you, maybe I should get glasses," Parry said and took his cousin´s thick-lens glasses. "Parry, please, give it back!" he said imitating Duldey. "Ok boys, dinner is ready," Netupia said. "I´ve made hamburgers for you, Parry."  
  
Rudsleys and Parry ate in silence. Nervon broke the silence by saying: "Parry, I have something to tell you. You are going to a boarding school."  
  
Parry stopped eating his double cheese hamburger and stared at Nervon quietly.  
  
"Yes, I know it doesn´t sound very fun, but your parents had planned and paid it. It´s a nice place in the middle of Los Angeles, called Wogharts. School will start after a week," Nervon said a bit nervous.  
  
"FUN?!" Parry suddenly yelled. "How in heck could it be fun if I´m locked into a boring school with stupid wimps like Duldey all day and night!"  
  
Netupia tried to calm Parry down. "Don´t be so dramatic. It´s not that bad place, there´s an American football team and art and music and so on. And besides, it´s your parents' will. They wanted us to send you to the boarding school."  
  
Parry couldn´t believe it. "What?! I think there´s a misunderstanding or something. Why would they do it to me?  
  
Netupia and Nervon glanced at each other. "Because they loved you so much and wanted only the best for you," Nervon said his voice trembling. Parry´s anger blowups were familiar in the house and this was going to be one. It was not unusual to see things flying and doors slamming when Parry was in that mood. Duldey was usually the first one to suffer his rage and so he was prepared to crawl under the table if seeing any signs of rising storm.  
  
"What if I don´t want to go there?" Parry asked, shouting. "My friends, my hobbies, my WHOLE LIFE is here and you´re forcing me to give it all up and go to some f***ing boarding school where I´m locked in and forbidded to do anything fun! Not even over my death body am I going there!"  
  
Duldey was quivering and whining under the table like a dog who is scolded for its stupid behaviour, Nervon was squeezing his fork and knife hard and biting his lips not to cry, but Netupia was looking calm. "Parry, I know you´re disappointed and who wouldn´t be?" Being sympathetic for a teenager is a good trick and Netupia knew it. "Being sent to a dull school in your best age. I understand you, Parry. But would it be possible for you at least to try it? You can come home if it´s too irritating. For your parent´s sake, not ours," Netupia persuaded Parry.  
  
Parry was already settled down but didn´t want to seem too gentle. "Well, perhaps I could try. But only if you don´t come to see me off."  
  
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Ok, what did you like? R+R, please and we´d be very grateful. 


	2. 2

Parry Hotter and the Secret Lives  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Andunewen writes: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^  
  
The week after the announcement was quickly gone, and Parry had now almost accepted the idea of travelling to Los Angeles and staying there. Yes, staying in a school, but he could play football there, and there were no queer relatives hanging around, but instead many new interesting people, many new interesting girls.  
  
"Parry dear! We should leave soon!" aunt Netupia's sweet voice broke Parry's thoughts, and while concentrating to draw a fancy T-shirt on him he failed to seize the thought again. Parry glanced a longing look into his poster-filled room where he had seen so many good dreams about winning the pot and doing the all-time best run that would be shown over and over again in all the sport news over the world. He would not see his room again for a long time. But still, it was time to see some new views. And new girls. And so suddenly Parry had caught the thought that had almost been lost.  
  
Footsteps approached the door of Parry's room. "Mum said that we really should keep going now," Duldey whispered quietly behind the door and stopped to wait there.  
  
"Ok, ok," Parry mumbled. He grabbed the cage where he kept his best ball with him and pushed the door open. "Wait just a moment," he halted quickly when he saw Duldey in his best suit. "Did you say "we"? I don't want you to come to the airport!" he snapped angrily.  
  
Light passed from Duldey's face. "B-but." he began. "You're leaving! I wanted to say goodbye to you!" he uttered desperately.  
  
"Oh sorry", Parry understood and his voice altered to a friendly one. "But you can say goodbye to me now, ok?" he suggested happily.  
  
Duldey could only slightly nod.  
  
Parry moved his hand insecurely in a wave-like motion. "Well, goodbye then", he said and hurled downstairs where Nervon was already carrying his luggage to the taxi. He assumed he heard a small goodbye behind him, but had no time to wonder his cousin's strange behaviour.  
  
During the drive to the airport Netupia explained Parry what he would find from his suitcases. Parry had only a few clothes with him, because the school would have its own playing outfits and those were pretty much the only clothes he used to wear. But the school was of course not only about football.  
  
"I ordered your school items from Wogharts' mail-order catalogue," Netupia explained. "The books about fame and show business seemed interesting. Though I hope you should never need to know the book "How to Control the Hysteria of the Fanatic Fan Herds" you probably should study it intensively." Parry did not understand the sniff that followed this mention. But instantly Netupia continued: "And I purchased you the extra-big mirror you wanted. And the new laptop computer with Internet connection that they recommended and."  
  
"Aunt," Parry interrupted her softly. "I believe that you have taken care of everything, you always do. And I will do just fine in Wogharts." Parry had this incredible ability to catch the fancy of every female with what he said and so he calmed down his aunt too.  
  
Netupia and Nervon said goodbye to Parry at the check-in. His entire luggage was already packed in the aeroplane except the cage he held tightly against himself.  
  
"Then... don't go fooling around in there," Nervon tried to adapt the role of a "normal" parent. "Don't tease too many girls and choose your friends carefully," he added slightly uncertainly, not knowing how a good student should behave.  
  
Netupia was unable to say anything but flew to hug Parry instead. From the tight of the hug Parry understood what he was supposed to say. "I'll do fine there. And be ok. Nothing to worry," he sounded even more doubtful than uncle Nervon also to himself. But gladly it did not sound like that to Netupia.  
  
"Oh," she cried and let Parry go. "You'll make your parents so proud. And us too." The officer behind the check-in desk made a loud noise with her pen. Netupia heard it and said rather not so brisk as she wished: "But off you go now Parry" and pushed him towards the waiting officer.  
  
After surviving the check-in Parry walked forward in the airport. He clutched his cage all the time stronger. He needed to feel something safe and familiar with him when he was stepping to something new. To something unexpected. To something almost scary. To a hall full of waiting teenagers who were screaming and shouting and pointing at each other or actually to themselves, as Parry saw when he looked closer.  
  
"Do you know who my parents are?" he heard someone hailing. Then someone bellowed: "They're nobody. My whole line is full of famous people!" There was someone who tried to calm the situation down. "It doesn't matter who our ancestors are, were going there only as ourselves. Going there to make US important and popular."  
  
Parry listened to the arguing astonished. It sounded exactly what he had always wanted. A school that would make your way into fame! He was now so happy that almost dropped the cage he had been so dearly holding. Following the flow of other people, who would become his fellow students, Parry stepped into the aeroplane.  
  
The first things he noticed inside the plane were the small seats. He did not say anything, but smiled conquering to one of the stewardess and was immediately led to a business class seat with enough space. As Parry slumped down to sit he noticed a sleeping boy sitting next to the seat next to him. The boy wore loose and slack clothes, and in his green skirt was the text: "Peace, man." His dark brown hair was messy and the smell around him rather questionable sugary. To Parry's eyes his whole appearance was extremely cool.  
  
"Hello, my name's Parry Hotter!" he started aloud and shook hands with the still sleeping boy.  
  
Slowly the boy opened his eyes and Parry felt a moment of fear when he imagined he saw an expression of anger on the boy's face, but suddenly the feeling was wept away when the boy roared: "What's up, man?"  
  
Parry was a bit startled but mutter something like: "I'm no K."  
  
The boy burst to laugh. "No, not K, me neither. I'm Won." And at this point his expression clearly changed. "Did you say you were Parry Hotter?" Parry nodded carefully. Won shrugged his shoulders like he did not care. "Well you better watch out then. There'll be lots of gang fainting all over you when they're queuing to see that scar of yours."  
  
Then Parry remembered it too. "Oh my scar!" he cried out fondly. "Do you want to see it? It's star shaped you know. I can."  
  
"No!" Won stopped him quickly when Parry was lowering his pants. "I know what it's like, because people have told stories about it for ever. It's very famous," he continued apologising.  
  
This mollified Parry. He was famous already. How wonderful! Then he remembered that he should behave himself and be polite. "What was your name again?" he asked Won interested.  
  
Won scowled. "Oh you mean my family name. It's Reasley." He stopped like he was waiting for some kind of a reaction from Parry, but Parry did not get what was so special about the name. Won decided to explain it then: "The thing is that my father is the president."  
  
Again Won got now reaction from Parry, but this time he could not blame Parry's wittiness from it, but the scream that came from the back of the plane.  
  
"Do you seriously expect me to sit here? I will NOT suffer this! Get me a business class seat immediately!" a girl ordered in fury and soon enraged footsteps reached the part of the plane where Parry and Won were sitting.  
  
Parry was prepared to hate the selfish being that approached them, but when he turned his head he saw a cruelly beautiful tall girl, who had the straightest and whitest hair he had ever seen. The girl sat between Parry and Won and Parry watched dazed as she crossed her legs frantically but at the same time elegantly.  
  
A scared looking stewardess, who had brought the girl to the business class, whispered her voice shaking: "I'm really sorry about this misunderstanding. It won't happen ever again, Miss Hanger."  
  
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A few points I've got to say: 1. The authors do not own the characters or the plot but J. K. Rowling does; though the characters are not quite the same she is used to. 2. The mother tongue of the authors is not English, so please forgive our mistakes. 3. This story is full of intentional stereotypes, which are however not meant to hurt anyone. Writing them into this story should prove how absurd those stereotypes are. 


	3. 3

Parry stared at the girl who was now holding her pocket mirror and was spreading shrieking red lipstick to her plump lips. Girl had the sweetest lips and longest legs he had ever seen. She was even hotter than Britney, Parry thought. And that was a lot.  
  
Parry had evidently stared at her a bit too long because she said in a bored tone behind her mirror: "Oh, do you need a drool towel? I can ask the stewardness to bring one." Won snickered and Parry tried to gather himself. He was opening his mouth to say something, but she put the mirror aside and casted an examining glance at Parry. "Sorry about my rudeness, I thought you were an ugly freak," girl said and continued as the boys looked a bit puzzled: "I hate that when weirdos are slobbering after me."  
  
There was a short silence, which she cutted by saying in a high-pitched voice: "I am Grermione. Is your hair naturally blond?" she asked Parry. He nodded and she said: "Ah, I just LOVE blond boys, they´re so sexy!" Parry had a cough fit and Won snickered again. "Is my hair ok?" Grermione said and started to stroke her hair.  
  
"Yes, yes, it is ok," Parry said as he had pulled through the shock. "I am Parry and this is Won. His dad is president!" Won nodded in confirm.  
  
Grermione in turn looked puzzled. "I thought it was Arnorld Schwarzenegger," she said.  
  
Won lifted his eyebrow and said: "No, he´s the governor."  
  
Grermione harped on: "But isn´t it the same thing?" Won shook his head and let out a big sigh. Then he closed his eyes and after a while started to snore loudly.  
  
Parry and Grermione were both quiet. Grermione made huge bubbles with her gum and fiddled with her long and sharp-looking pink nails. Parry tapped his fingers to the elbow rest in rhythm. "So, why are you going to Wogharts?" Grermione finally asked.  
  
"My mum and dad wanted me to go there," Parry answered. When he mentioned them, Parry suddenly missed his parents lot. Though he didn´t remember how they looked or anything whole about them, he had some memories especially about his mum when she had holded him in her arms or bathed him. Netupia had also told lots about them and in his mind he had formed an image of mum and dad.  
  
Grermione noticed his sudden change in mood and asked: "Are you ok?"  
  
"I´m just tired, that´s all. I didn´t sleep very well last night," Parry lied. "But why are you going there? Did your parents want to get rid of you or something?"  
  
Grermione didn´t hear the question. She was looking with disgust at Won, who had taken her hand and was rubbing his nose to it and murmured: "Oh, your hand is so soft, Cameron."  
  
"Yack, he drooled my sleeve!" Grermione cried out. Parry started laughing but stopped as he saw Grermione´s ice cold look. "I better take this shirt off," Grermione said and started to undress it. Parry´s eyes fixed on the stripping girl, but, to Parry´s irritation, she still had another shirt under the drooled one.  
  
"Now," Grermione said contentedly. "Why did your parents want you there? I mean, what are they famous for?"  
  
"They are athletes, mum a runner and dad shotputter," Parry said. He didn´t want to tell they were dead, because he didn´t want her to pity him, like people always did, when they found out he was an orphan.  
  
When he had said that, Grermione threw her hand before mouth. "You are Parry Hotter!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, I am," Parry said proudly. He did like it, being famous. He wished he had known it before too. Nervon and Netupia had never mentioned it. "Do you want to see my scar?" he asked eagerly.  
  
"Not just now, but maybe some other time..." Grermione said hintingly. Hoping that "other time" would come soon, Parry fell in silence. He took out the book Netupia had given him and was going to read it, but decided to give up the idea, when he noticed that there were no pictures and its text was too small. Instead, he took his ball out of the cage and stroked it.  
  
"Do you play football?" Grermione asked interested.  
  
Parry knew that girls were fond of football players and said unmodestly: "Yeah, and I´m pretty good at it. You know, in one match last year I..." he didn´t go on because he saw a mysterious looking guy coming out of toilet. He was speaking to his mobile phone and finished his call as he saw that Grermione and Parry were looking at him. Boy was wearing sun glasses and black suit-looking clothes. His brown hair was combed back and he was walking towards them. He went past them and sat to back of the business class. Then he started to read a newspaper and Parry felt that he observed them behind it.  
  
"Strange guy," Grermione said quietly. "I wonder if he´s coming to Wogharts?"  
  
Parry shrugged. There was something in this guy he didn´t like. Maybe the agent-style outfit, or perhaps his mysteriousness.  
  
Won started to wake up. "Are we already there?" he asked drowsily.  
  
"Not just yet," Parry said to him.  
  
"I´m sorry, I´m so sorry," they heard somebody saying. Someone was walking through the aisle and lifting sleeping peoples´ legs out of his way. He walked to Won, Grermione and Parry and said: "Can I come to sit here? The person next to me smoked and I´m allergic. There were no seats free there."  
  
Parry and Won nodded dully. Boy sat next to Won. He had shoulder-long black hair, glasses, big nose and a bad acne. He wore brown velvet jeans, orange t-shirt and a leather vest.  
  
"I bet that boy has never heard the word 'style'," Grermione whispered to Parry´s ear. "I bet he´s gay," Parry whispered and made Grermione laugh. She had shrill but sweet laugh. It was to Parry´s liking.  
  
Boy holded out his hand to Won and said: "Hello, my name is Maco Dralfoy. Nice to meet you." Won looked a bit dumbfounded but said: "I´m Won." Maco shook hands with Parry and Grermione, who did it a bit unwillingly. They said their names and Maco said to Grermione: "Nice name. My granny is also Grermione." Then he took the book he was carrying under his arm and started to read it. Shakespeare´s Hamlet.  
  
"Idiot," Grermione said behind her teeth.  
  
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	4. 4

Oh, I'm feeling bad and stupid. (Or we are.) Foolish not to think that this idea was made someway by hundreds of others too. (But actually I never thought this was very original either.) AND I apologise everyone and hope you won't kick us away from FF, because we certainly had ever heard of www.parryhotter.com. Now that I've visited it, I notice we share many ideas with it but the actual style is way different from it. And talking about the copyrights, it's J.K.Rowling who we owe something to. But thank you all the reviewers anyway, it's nice to be noticed :) We are trying to be funnier and also avoid too many connections with that mentioned web page. Try to suffer us.  
  
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Chapter 4  
  
Andunewen writes:  
  
After a short while (a too long for someone who is own their way to popularity) Grermione lost her patience and spoke. "You know Parry," she let her hair fly on Parry's direction but stared deeply on Maco. "I'm a cheerleader. That's why I'm going to Wogharts. You know," this time her hair swept over Parry's face like cool wind that would blow to the cabin if one of the aeroplane doors would accidentally blow open. "that only people with talents are welcomed there. They actually asked me to come." Parry nodded in confirm. "So I wonder," Grermione continued sweetly. "Excuse my foolishness, Mr Dralfoy, but what the hell do you do in this plane?"  
  
Maco choked. Parry saw that the boy had not expected to be drawn into discussion. Or rather a hearing. "I, I mean to, I meant to ." he began unsure.  
  
"Oh go on," Grermione encouraged him. "Your parents wanted you to come, to study what?" And before Maco had had time to plan his answer carefully she proceeded confidently. "Speaking maybe? But there's no section for the ABC of words in Wogharts, is there? Surely the footlights section is for those who can already pronounce the sentence: "I caught the wrong plane," she ended triumphantly.  
  
But though even Parry sensed the contempt in her words, Maco seemed to ignore them. Something in her speech had been more important to him than the fact that he was being laughed at. "Footlights, drama, acting, stage, yes!" his eyes sparkled behind his messy greasy hair. "My life, my dreams, my possibilities! Thank you, oh sweet lady, I had lost my path!" And somewhere he found the ability to speak well (or to mutter complicated sentences too hard to understand, but perhaps they were the same).  
  
With every boring word about acting Parry saw Grermineo -oh sorry, Grermione, "though the neo-version sounded much better," Parry thought- clutched her dragon skin handbag tighter. "Oh how sweet," she hissed, this time not even pretending nice. "The parents of the poor boy want him to have a respected, well-paid and rising career in the commercial breaks."  
  
"Not they," Maco answered quickly and more to himself. "They would have wanted me to go to Greasdor. To the section where they were, but no, I will not waste my future in the middle of those self-centred sport dulls, I."  
  
"Watch out your words man," Won suddenly took part in the discussion. "Look who you're talking to and keep rather carrying on with your artistic expressions."  
  
Maco took his glance away from the hot spotlights somewhere in his imagination and faced Grermione staring at him with such a murderous look that every actor could envy, Won smiling slightly and Parry looking at the faces of everyone trying to figure out who was going to win this game. "But then," Maco said apologising and Parry saw the victory coming to his gang (the gang he had automatically formed with Grermione and Won). "I pondered upon my own wishes," Maco continued. "To be popular and an ignoramus or not to be. And decided to fly as far away from your sport Coliseum as possible. Oh farewell and I'll see thou soon, I fear." Maco stood up, bowed to a low obeisance and returned to the back of the plane.  
  
Parry waited for his gang members to say something, but they remained silent. Grermione grew paler and paler on her face. "Well," Parry began carefully, having no idea what the others were thinking right now. "He made a big fool of himself. Talking that weird crab and everything. We are lucky not to be friends with those people." The silence continued, but Won shook his head. Grermione had become greyish blue. "Are you OK, Grer?" Parry asked suspecting that she had not intended to look like that. "What's the matter?"  
  
Won bent forwards in his seat and drew a paper bag from the back of the next seat. "Here," he said and handed it to Grermione. She took it quickly and started to breathe into it. Parry watched interested as her face varied over a wide range of colours before it returned to normal.  
  
"She's panicking," Won explained Parry. "She got upset because that weirdo claimed that he was somehow better than she."  
  
Grermione pulled the bag from her face and said calmly to Won: "Not because of that!" A bit too calmly to confirm anyone. "I got upset, but only because that kind of . of freaks are let to enter Wogharts. Imagine how they are going to affect the image of us!"  
  
Won snorted. "But at least he will stand out from the crowd. There can't be many like he, can there? At least I hope there can't, unless WE are going to be the abnormal ones in the school of queers," he ended a bit frightened of his thought.  
  
Parry felt a shiver from the words too. "No, no. We are normal, we can't turn out to be freaks," he said confidently. "Don't worry Grer." He tapped her carefully on the hand.  
  
"Normal?" This time Grermione screamed. "Me normal? I don't belong to those odd strange suspicious BORING normals! I'M SPECIAL!" She calmed down when se saw the frightened look on Parry's face and altered her voice. "And Parry dear," she told. "Do not call me G-R-E-R, ok?"  
  
Parry repeated the letters secretly uttering them aloud and nodded then verifying.  
  
Won was laughing. Parry got the explanation for the cause of his laugh soon. "Yes Grer," Won said. "You are special. I don't know anyone else connecting strange and normal together." He realised to say something nicer when Grermione was already on the brick of one kind of an explosion. "So did I understand correctly that you too are going to Greasdor with Parry? What sport?"  
  
He had chosen the correct words. The change in Grermione was miraculous. "I'm a cheerleader," she told proudly. "I've been the captain of all the teams I've been in."  
  
"Cheerleader!" Parry called out gladly. "So you too jump and stretch on that mini skirt? Cool! But I didn't know it was a sport."  
  
Grermione seemed to explode eventually but then decided to concentrate on the words mini and skirt and smiled at Parry. "Yes, it's a sport. And as important as yours. But what kind of an athlete are you Won? I don't see much of an artist in you," she continued sarcastically, still pissed of from something.  
  
"I haven't even decided yet to what section I want to go. Let's see where they'll put me in. Dad wanted me to come here, he went to this school," Won explained.  
  
"Yes your dad," Grermione repeated relieved. "So you're not normal either, that's good. Normal people are like poor nail polish. Drying lasts endlessly, but once you've mistaken to use it, you have no other chance but to wait for it to dry. And it smells and looks bad too," she concluded.  
  
Parry had not yet solved the metaphor when Won said: "Or maybe you're just keeping people wet all the time, Grer," and Parry believed he had at least understood how suggestive the metaphor was.  
  
Luckily Parry did not have to comment on the puzzling allegory himself, because the plane was about to arrive to Los Angeles, and an excited clamour filled the plane. Soon the plane had landed and Won, Parry and Grermione were among the first ones to step out of the plane.  
  
Out in the bright sunlight Parry noticed first the missing of the sky. It could not be seen from the airport in the middle of the cluster of huge skyscrapers that covered the sky. And soon Parry noticed that the bright sunlight was actually flashes of cameras.  
  
"Oh, the press!" Grermione cried and stroked her hair. She took hold of Parry's hand and slowed her pace.  
  
Hundreds of photographers and a few reporters were waiting outside the airport and shouting something like: "Here come the stars!" or "The hopes of the future!" and Parry heard someone scream even: "You'd be elected in the next elections!"  
  
After a hot walk that lasted for ages, though Parry enjoyed every moment, silence fell. There were still lots of people around them, but no one spoke anything. Parry and Grermione stopped instinctively and waited.  
  
Suddenly a scream broke the air. "Parry, Parry!", "I love you Parry!", "Will you marry me?", and all the stuff Parry had always dreamt of echoed loudly from every direction. But still he managed to notice the expression of jealousy on Grermione's face. Though he could not tell whether it was because of the girls loving Parry or of the fame he had reached, and she not. Parry had no time to figure it out, because he was again astonished by a second sudden silence. Most of the people around him had fainted.  
  
Parry could not believe his luck. This was it. This was it really. The real life. And with the greatest happiness his eyes caught the movement a camera helicopter toward the sky, when its camera delivered the picture of two blond new Wogharts students standing on a red carpet in the middle of the fainted mass of poor boring normal people, the newest victims for the stardom cult.  
  
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...!... And waiting. A bit afraid. 


	5. 5

Zandrah writes:  
  
Grermione and Parry saw a man with camera coming towards them. After him came another man who holded out his hand to Parry and said: "Hello, I´m Ned Jason from The Sun."  
  
"I am Par-"  
  
"Yes, I know who you are," man said. "Take lots of photos," he said to the cameraman who immediately started clicking.  
  
Parry was used to being in front of camera (he had posed for Aunt Netupia since he was three) so he inclined his head a bit and smiled charmingly to camera. Grermione had an odd expression on her face, like she would have eaten tabasco and was twisting her mouth not to spit it out, and rolled her eyes. "Are you O-"  
  
"I´m fine!" she said behind her gritted teeth when Parry started asking. She turned her face to cameraman and her expression changed entirely to a Miss Universum-smile.  
  
"Focus to the boy, focus to the boy!" said Ned Jason who had taken his notebook and scribbled something to it. "So, I understand this will be your first year in Wogharts? How does it feel?" he asked Parry.  
  
"Well, first I thought it sucks," Parry said like an old hand in interview. Grermione was flirting to cameraman to get his (or more the camera´s) eye fixed on her. "But then I realized it´s my parents will, and if I want to respect them, I´ll go. Besides, I´ve heard that it is a great school."  
  
Mr. Jason was writing furiously. "And I suppose you are going to Greasdor, you play American football, don´t you?"  
  
"Oh, yes," Parry said eagerly. Sport was his favourite subject, in fact, the only subject he could talk more than five minutes. When somebody mentioned the word 'sport' or 'football', Parry´s eyes brightened and he started talking passionately. Now he didn´t speak because he had sunk in to his thoughts where Grermione was leading a bunch of cheerleaders in bikini.  
  
Interviewer had evidently just now noticed the coquetting Grermione and asked: "Is she your girlfriend?"  
  
Parry was opening his mouth when she said quickly: "Yes, I am. We´ve been together for two months and I love him so much! Isn´t he SO sweet!" As soon as said it, Grermione kissed Parry ardently. Parry was dumbfounded but didn´t resist. "Did you get a photo?" Grermione asked when he had loosened her lips from Parry´s. Parry was smiling foolishly. Cameraman nodded and Grermione continued: "Put there that I am a cheerleader, Ned." and flashed her most flirting smile.  
  
Won was dragging idly behind Grermione and Parry with his slack pants and a number too big blouse. He had put his hood on his head so that no one could see his face. He had too gorilla-like bodyguards next to him who were shoving gaping teens out of their way.  
  
"There´s the son of president, let´s go!" Mr.Jason rushed cameraman. They started running towards Won.  
  
"Hey, what about my scar, don´t you wanna see it?" Parry shouted after them.  
  
Ned Jason tried to interview Won, but his efforts were useless. Won said nothing and tightened the strings of his hoods. Gorillas moved them calmly off the road.  
  
"Won doesn´t know anything about publicity!" Parry exclaimed impatiently. He couldn´t understand why somebody REFUSED being interviewed or photographed.  
  
"Or maybe he really knows about it..." Grermione said wisely. She didn´t look offended about journalists act but laughed maliciously when Won´s guards pushed the curious men aside.  
  
Outside the airport were limousines waiting for students. Parry stared at them amazed. "Are those for us?" he asked.  
  
Grermione nodded. Won went into one limousine and shouted: "Come sit here!" He gestured with his hands towards the two blonds surrounded with girls asking their autographs. Well, actually Parry´s, but Grermione wrote her "Grermione, kisses"- mark as well.  
  
"Oh, he touched my hand!" somebody cried. Parry was in his element flattened between shrieking fan girls. "Ok, girls, I´ll have to go now," he said and turned away. When he had walked to safe distance, he blew a kiss. That achieved a common panic phenomenon: some girls fainted, some jostled and pulled others´ hair.  
  
"I could get used to this," Parry said contentedly when they walked away from the screaming girls.  
  
"You should," Grermione said. "Because you are famous. You will be harassed by those," she uttered the last word disdainfully, "wherever you go."  
  
They had walked to Won´s limousine. His personal chauffeur opened the door to Parry and Grermione. It was very roomy inside and looked just like in movies and TV, Parry thought. "Is there sliding roof and a button that you can talk to driver?" he asked eagerly. Won nodded.  
  
"I saw you were handling the gossip journalists quite professionally," Grermione said when the car had started.  
  
"It isn´t easy to be son of the president. They are following me everywhere," Won sighed.  
  
"Yeah, I wouldn´t want them to watch when I´m with a girl," Parry said sympathetically. "Are they always wearing sun glasses?"  
  
Won started laughing. When Parry looked dumbfounded, he said: "I didn´t mean my guards, but the journalists."  
  
They soon arrived to Wogharts. It was a high, white modern building with dozens of windows. There was a red carpet from parking lot to the doors. Students were walking along it to doors in sparkle of flashlights.  
  
The trio stood out from the car and went inside and to entrance hall. There were at least hundred students waiting for instructions where to go. After a while there came a tall and beautiful young blond woman who said: "Welcome to Wogharts, I am Gonerva McMinagall. Please, follow me."  
  
Sorry, for keeping you waiting. But it takes a while for inspiration to come... 


	6. 6

Andunewen: I've got my English final exam on Monday but have no lust to practice for it. But then I remembered Parry the long-forgotten! So let's practice some English and give Parry a go.

* * *

Ms McMinagall led Parry, Grermione, Won, and some other students through long high corridors and about a dozen elevators, with every intention to confuse the new students so that they would not find their way out of the school. But there was no fear of Parry remembering the route they had taken, he was so completely charmed by Gonerva's sweet voice.

"Wogharts School of Fame and Favour has a very long and honourable history," she was lecturing. "The school was founded in 1960, and the head master has ever since been Dulbus Ambledore, and he has promised to go on and on and on with his work." (At this point there was a small sigh to be heard in Gonerva's speech indicating a strong opinion about something, which Parry however could not analyse any further.

McMinagall continued: "It is very hard to get into Wogharts, and those who make it already have to be very talented or very pros... proficient. Thus the school has specialized in giving its students the skills required in surviving in the challenging world of media, which is essential in being famous." Now Gonerva held a small pause and at the same time took a friendly glance at Parry and nodded. Parry nodded eagerly back. Gonerva continued: "The school is divided into four sections according to their study options. First there is Greasdor, which trains its students to become professional athletics and gives them the ability to make contracts with the best sponsors and the best biography authors. The other sections are Rambleclef for music, Humblepen for literature, and Shamelyn for drama. The most succesful of the school's sections is of course Greasdor, which has a tradition of having at least one Olympic Championship won by its students every second year. Non of the other sections have achieved the same. All of planet's most successive athletics have gone through Wogharts, including Lemus Rupin, Birius Slack, Jily and Lames Hotter, the Reasley brothers..."

"Excuse me, Ms," came a small voice somewhere next to Maco Dralfoy. Parry couldn't see who was speaking, the voice seemed to come from somewhere very close to the floor.

"Yes?" Gonerva asked sharply, turning on her heels and stopping.

The tiny voice continued: "What about the former students of other sections? Could you tell something about them?" Now Parry was able to notice two short boys next to Maco, one of them was talking shyly. McMinagall however had not seen the boy, and had no intention to answer to an anonymous spot.

"Ms, please," Maco took the turn. The two boys had blushed deep red. "Grabbe and Coyle would only like to know if it's true what they heard." Maco was seeming to gather some more courage himself too. "Has Toldevort studied at Wogharts?" he finally asked.

Some of the students went completely silent when they heard the question, but the name did not sound familiar to Parry. Neither did it do so to McMinagall, because she said: "I'm sure you'll hear a lot about the other sections if you start studying them. Unfortunately we have no time to get into that now." If Parry was not entirely mistaken, she had been disturbed by the question. He considered trying to memorise the name, but decided then that some actor was not important, if Gonerva did not bother to speak about him.

Gonerva gathered herself quickly back together and said briskly: "Here we are now." They were standing on a closed door that had a "This is It" sign hanging on it. "Soon you'll be let into the opening ceremony where you will be sorted into the sections," Gonerva continued. "Prepare, the press will be there," she added in remark.

So as Gonerva left them, Parry was finally able to take a look around himself. Behind him, in the long corridor they were standing in, were many (about 30, if you had asked for example Won) other students. There were both girls and boys (in equal numbers if you again had asked Won), and everyone was about the same age as Parry (damn boring if you had asked Won). All of the girls were very pretty, Parry noticed. Everybody was waiting, and there was some excited chattering going around. It was something about sorting and sections and food, but Parry did not hear very well because Grermione was saying something in a focus-into-me kind of tone.

"The sorting is so unimportant," she snapped. "Why do we have to go through it? It's obvious where we're going, we don't need any test to prove it. We could just go in front of the ceremony hall and give a short interview instead."

Parry caught a word from Grermione's speech. "A test? Do we have to go through a test?" he asked nervously. He did not have very good memories about the tests and exams he had to go trough in his former school.

"Relax, buddy," Won said to him. "We don't have to do anything. They just sort of screen us for what we are good at. There's no worrying, it's clear that we'll get into Greasdor."

Grermione was not happy with this. "Yes but it's still not a good process! They could screen us beforehand, so they could eliminate in time those who are not good for anything," she exclaimed. "Maybe I should indeed object! That would make me stand out in the ceremony."

Won gave a small laugh at that. "That wouldn't look very good. The school has traditions, Grer, and Dulbus ain't very adaptable with them. I guess you're just nervous," he said.

"No I'm not!" came very quickly from Grermione. "I know I'll get into Greasdor, I've never valued that other stuff they do in here. It just bothers me that they can't kick anyone out at the sorting ceremony. But I guess they just put the hopeless ones into Shamelyn then," she said happily, gaining back her selfconfidence. "Those weak ones asking after some... what was his name again?"

"Toldevort," came the answer before Parry and Won hurried to say that they did not remember. "And yes, he did study in Shamelyn some thirty years ago." The boy speaking was the same Parry had seen in the plane. The one dressed in the suit and speaking to the mobile phone.

"Let me introduce myself," he continued. "I am Leville Nongbottom. And who are you?"

It took a while from even Grermione answering, they were so startled by the interrupt from a mysterious looking stranger.

"I'm Grermione Hanger," she answered finally with a shiny smile. She had paid some attention into the expensive suite Leville was wearing. "A cheerleader. "And this is Parry Hotter," she said, grabbing Parry's arm at the same time.

"Nice to meet you," Leville said. He shook hands with all three of them, Won being able to introduce himself. "I guess you'll be going to Greasdor?" Leville asked them after that.

"Yes, naturally," Grermione answered.

"I see that I'm hanging out with the right people then," Leville answered and made Grermione giggle. Parry did not feel that good about the praise. There was something too flattering about it.

"Where are you going?" Won asked Leville.

"Oh, I don't know yet," Leville answered. "I'm sort of interested in intersectional studies and management, so I guess it doesn't matter where they are going to put me. But let me return to the subject Toldevort."

"Yes," Grermione got interested. "Why did they ask about him? I don't know him, he can't be anyone important, can he?"

"Well, it depends on from which perspective are you looking," Leville explained. "I would also like to call him unimportant, but unfortunately he has some prestige. He graduated from the drama section, yes, but he did not continue as an actor. He became a journalist. And now he is the leading media-criticiser of the country."

"Now I know who he is!" Won said. "My dad's been having a lot of trouble with him. I understand how he can achieve all that if he is an Wogharts insider."

Leville nodded at him. "Some criticism and rebellion could of course be tolerated, were there not this newest idea from him," he said darkly. Parry sensed that something bad was coming. "He is trying to put Wogharts down."

* * *

So that's it. Please review, so maybe we have guts to write continuation sooner than in 16 months. 


End file.
